You can download it free in the form of an ebook: pdf, kindle ebookand more softfile type. Beyond Willpower: The Secret Principle toAchieving. Beyond Willpower by Alexander Loyd, Ph.D. - Excerpt - Free download as PDF File .pdf), Text File .txt) or read online for free. Did you know that most self-help. Editorial Reviews. Review. “This is a paradigm shift breakthrough, turns most conventional wisdom about how to achieve success on its head, and explains why.
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Beyond Willpower Workbook - Kindle edition by Alex Loyd. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like. Download Beyond Willpower by Alex Loyd PDF eBook free. Beyond Willpower is an exciting self-development book which teaches the reader. Beyond Willpower book. Read 23 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. Did you know that most self-help programs that follow the standard.
You may be wondering, If this blueprint is a blueprint for failure, then why does it seem so right and natural to me? There are three r easons: Its how youre wired.
Its part of your survival instinct, and its what you used almost exclusively during the first six or eight years of your life: Thats why it feels so natural. The big problem is that as adults, were not supposed to live this way unless our life is in immediate danger.
After around ages six to eight, were supposed to start living according to what we know is right and good, by and large regardless of the pain or pleasure involved. Ill explain more about this in chapter 1 as well. So in essence, if we live by this blueprint as adults, we are acting like five-year-olds and dont even know it. Its what you see everyone else doing.
In other words, this blueprint is what youve seen modeled as the right approach in almost every context: Its modeled for you by your peers, your teachers, and your p arents. Its what the experts have been teaching for the last sixty-f ive years. As I mentioned previously, this blueprint has formed the basis of virtually every self-help bestseller or program for nearly seven decades.
The typical methodology of todays self-help and success programs is not only outdated, it was defective to begin with. But I dont really need statistics or studies to tell me pursuing an end result with my willpower is a blueprint for failure. I know it from experience. About twenty-five years ago, I was working as a counselor for teenagers and their families to help them stay on the right path and become successful in life. I was trained in this typical self-help blueprint, and I had been following it for years in every aspect of my life.
Nevertheless, I found myself failing in my work with teenagers. Even more, I was failing in my finances, to the point of financial bankruptcy. Even though I was painting on a happy face, I was miserable inside. I had been searching for the answers to how to help peopleparticularly myselfbecome successful in life for years: Nothing worked.
And, of course, I blamed myself, not the teachings. Im just not trying hard enough, or doing it right! I told myself. I was at the point of throwing everything overboard because I felt I couldnt live my life this way anymore. I remember thinking, How did I screw everything up so fast? I was only in my twenties, and I felt like I was failing in every single area of life.
Well, apparently I wasnt quite done yet. One stormy Sunday night in , after three years of marriage, my wife, Hope, said she needed to talk to me. Even though shed said that thousands of times before, shed never said it like this. I knew in my bones that something was up, and it wasnt good. She had a hard time looking me in the eye. Her voice was trembling, but I could tell she was also trying to keep it steady.
Alex, I need you to move out of the house. I cant stand to live with you anymore. Now, I grew up in an Italian-like family. We argued and debated incessantly about everything, from politics, to religion, to what we were. But I didnt have one word of rebuttal in this single most important moment in my life.
All I could come up with was So I left. I numbly packed my little bag with a few essentials and quietly left without saying another word. I went to my parents house and spent all night in the backyard praying, searching, cryingfeeling like I was dying inside. What I didnt know at the time was that this was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Over the next six weeks, I would experience the most positive turning point in my life.
I had just been inducted into a sort of spiritual school where I would learn the key to all things: But that night, it felt like my life was over. I kept asking, over and over again, Why is this happening? It was a fair question, because if there was anything I should have succeeded at, it was marriage. When Hope and I got married, we were more prepared for marriage than anyone we knew. On our very first date, we went to the park, laid a blanket out on the grass on a beautiful starry fall night, and we talked.
And talked. For six hours straight, we talked. You name it; we talked about it. And that was just the first date. When we ran out of things to talk about, we read books together.
We would get the same bookone about relationships or something we were both interested inand read it on our own, underlining and taking notes. Then, on our dates, we would compare notes and discuss what wed read. We did premarital counseling voluntarily. We took personality tests and compared them and talked to counselors about our possible issues and their resolutions.
When the day of our wedding came on May 24, , we were ready. Well, we thought we were ready. Now, less than three years later, she couldnt stand the sight of me, and I was very unhappy as well. That night in my parents backyard was when my real education started. I heard a voice in my head that I believed to be Gods. The voice told me something that I didnt want to hearsomething that offendedme, in fact.
Then the voice asked me three questions that shook me to my core and over the next six weeks deprogrammed and reprogrammed me to the very source of my beingand I would never be the same. Those three questions would become the beginning of the Greatest Principle Success Blueprint which youll find in chapter 7.
It happened to me in an instant, but it would take me the next twenty-five years to work out exactly how to do it on demand for anyone. In fact, as it exists today, you might say its the exact opposite of the typical three-step self-help blueprint. And it also has the exact opposite effect: After about six weeks of separation, Hope reluctantly agreed to go on a date with me again.
She would tell me later that the first time she looked in my eyes that day, she knew I was not the same man. She was right. Even though I looked the same on the outside, I had transformed into a completely different person on the inside.
Because of her past pain, she wouldnt tell me that or let down her guard for quite some time. But the result was inevitable and inescapable.
Even though we later had struggles related to Hopes health and 2. I had been, and was being, transformed by the Greatest Principle. And Hope was starting to be transformed, too. From that day on, I began teaching the Greatest Principle to everyone I could, including the teenagers and parents with whom I was working at that time. No matter what they thought their problem was, no matter what they thought they needed to be saved from, what.
Here it is in a nutshell: Virtually every problem or lack of happiness and success comes from an internal state of fear in some formeven physical problems. And every internal state of fear results from a deficit of love in relation to that particular issue.
Another name for the fear response is the stress response. If fear is the problem, then love, its opposite, is the antidote. In the presence of real love, there can be no fear except in a life-threatening emergency. This may sound very theoretical. Fortunately, in the last few years, research has been done to back this up scientifically which we will discuss throughout this book. Everything, even your success issues and external circumstances, boils down to whether you are in an internal state of fear or an internal state of love.
When I began my counseling practice, this is what I began teaching every single client in therapy: If love could replace fear, I believed their symptoms would get better in a way that may never happen otherwise.
But I soon discovered a problem: Having them read, study, and meditate on ancient manuscripts and principles rarely worked. I tried to teach them to just do what I had been transformed to naturally do, but virtually none of them could. Guess what: I was teaching them the three-step failure blueprint, and I didnt even know it!
I was telling them to change their conscious fear- based thinking to love-based thinking, change their fear-based emotions to love-based emotions, and their fear-based behavior to love-based behavior. In other words, I was telling them to focus on expectations of external end results using their willpower!
Several said, Yeah, thanks. Another told me sarcastically, Yeah, Ill just start that right after lunchno problem. I later figured out why they were so cynical: Something real and transformative happened to me that night and over the next six weeks that I have come to call a transformational aha.
It wasnt that I just decided to love that night and started doing it with my willpower. Something happened in an instant that replaced my internal fear state with a love state and made me naturally love in a way I simply couldnt before, without having to exert willpower. I saw the truth in a way I had never seen it before, and I deeply understood and felt what love was and knew it to be true. I instantly started thinking, feeling, believing, and acting in love rather than fear, peace instead of anxiety; light flooded into my darkness, and I started effortlessly doing things I could hardly force myself to do before.
If you think of your brain as a computer hard drive, it was like my brain was instantly deprogrammed and reprogrammed about the issues of love and fear. It was like exchanging one software package for another. To be honest, this transformational aha was like a type of vision in which I glimpsed the truth about love in a single moment and held on to it. In fact, Einstein wrote about a similar experience regarding his theory of relativity. The whole truth was revealed to him in an instant but it took him twelve years to come up with the math to prove it.
I soon learned that you cant have a transformational aha just because you want to. I realized I hadnt yet come up with the math, so to speak. I needed practical tools and specific instructions I could teach that anyone and everyone could apply to any situation that would.
Tools that would really address the source of whatever issue they had, just like my transformational aha had done forme. Over the next twenty-four years, thats exactly what I did. As I worked with clients, I eventually discovered the Three Tools which youll learn about in chapter 4 that helped them go directly to the subconscious source, deprogram fear, and change their default programming to love.
Not only did I discover the Three Tools, I also discovered the futility of the typical three-step self-help blueprint. In this book, Ill teach you how to finally achieve happiness and success in all areas of your life using these Three Toolsnaturally, organically, and not based on trying harder with your willpower.
When I first got my masters in counseling, I hung out my shingle before I was even licensedwhen I was still under the supervision of a psychologist. Then I did something that either really irked, or became the source of jokes of, my more experienced colleagues in Nashville, Tennessee: Nobody does that with a masters in counseling!
But I knew that, based on my experience, I would usually only see my clients for one to ten sessions, typically over the course of six months, until their problems were resolved and they wouldnt need me anymore. Other psychologists typically saw their clients once a week for one to three years. Perhaps youre seeing some of those psychologists now. Also, while other psychologists primarily taught clients coping mechanisms to deal with issues that would likely remain problems for the rest of their lives, I was consistently seeing full resolution of issues with my clients.
I simply taught them what you will find in this book. Six months after starting my practice in this very unorthodox way,. I had a six-month waiting list. I also had a line of colleagues knocking on my door and calling me, either cursing me or sweetly asking me out to lunch to find out what the heck I was doing over here, because their clients were coming to me. The Greatest Principle changed not only my life, but also the lives of countless others in my private practice.
And I believe it will change yours, too. According to research well discuss in chapters 1 and 4, the typical three-step self-help blueprint literally turns on the mechanism in the brain that dumbs us down;. In contrast, not only can the Greatest Principle turn off the mechanism above, it can literally turn on another mechanism in the brain that, according to clinical research,.
What exactly are these mechanisms? The first is the stress response, which results from internal fear. The stress response causes the release of cortisol, which results in all the symptoms in the first list. The second mechanism is activated by the absence of internal fear, which is internal love. The experience of internal love releases oxytocin commonly known as the love hormone and other peptides in the brain and hormonal system, which results in all the positive symptoms in the second list.
To give you a sense of the depth of clinical research behind these lists, George Vaillant recently published the findings of Harvard Universitys Grant Study of Human Development, the longest-running longitudinal studies of human development in history. Beginning in , the study followed undergraduate males well into their nineties to determine the factors that contributed to human happiness.
Heres how Vaillant, who directed the study for over thirty years, sums up the findings: The seventy-five years and twenty million dollars expended on the Grant Study points to a straightforward five- word conclusion: Happiness is love. Full stop.
Hopefully now you can see how our success and failure depend upon our internal state and whether it is based in love or fear. If the first mechanism, the stress response, is operating in your lifeand in my experience, it is for the vast majority of peopleyou are going to fail, or at the very least fall short of your perfect success.
You can only push against that immovable rock for so long until you give out. Conversely, if the second mechanism, internal love, is operating in your life, you will become successfuland not because youre trying harder.
You are simply programmed to succeed. My friend and medical doctor Dr. Ben Johnson says that if we could ever create a pill that would activate this second mechanism in the brain and cause the natural release of oxytocin, it would immediately be the top-selling drug of all time. It would not just be the wonder pill. It would be the percent happy and healthy all the time pill! How would you like a prescription for that? Well, this book is your prescription. It began when I realized that not only had I not truly loved Hope, I didnt even know what love was.
Even more, I realized that no one else I knew understood what love really was either. In other words, my marriage hadnt been based on my love for Hope in the context of an intimate relationship; it had been based on a negotiation and a business deal.
That business deal was my safety. If not, well If Hope hadnt done what I wanted and acted in the ways I wanted when we were dating, I knew I would have never asked her to marry me. Even now that we were married, I still expected Hope to do what I wanted her to do and not do what I didnt want her to do as an unspoken condition of my love.
While I never would have said those words, I did live them. When she didnt do what I wanted, I felt irritated and angryand the same was true for her. This business-deal kind of love is what almost everyone means when they use the word love. WIIFM love has been the credo of almost every business negotiation and business deal for decades.
In the s, bestselling books began to teach us to overlay this paradigm onto our relationships and other areas of our life. Ill do this, if you will do that. And we bought itand have applied it to our lives ever since.
Then we wonder why we are failing! WIIFM love is the exact opposite of love.
WIIFM love is fear based, is based on instant gratification which well talk more about in chapter 5 , and inevitably leads to greater long-term failure and pain. Loving truly, on the other hand, has nothing to do with the other persons response. If you truly love someone, youre all in: Loving truly means giving up WIIFM love so that all involved parties can win, even if you have to sacrifice for it. Loving truly may lead to delaying momentary pleasure now, but it always leads to long-term success, and the kind of pleasure that is beyond words and that no amount of money can download.
Scholars throughout history have distinguished between these two kinds of love with the terms agape and eros. Agape is the spontaneous and unconditional love whose source is the divine. With agape, the person loves simply because it is in his or her nature to love, not because.
In fact, agape creates value in the other as a result of the unconditional love. Eros depends on the external qualities of the other, and payoff from the other. In contrast, agape has nothing to do with the external payoff from the other.
This realization hit me like a sledgehammer, and I began weeping. Then I was faced with a question: Now that I knew what love really wasno safety net, no plan B, nothing held backwould I choose to love Hope now, even if nothing in our relationship changed?
I didnt answer right away. But finally, after a few days of thinking and praying, I was able to decide, yes, I would love Hope in that way. All in, and no strings attached. And thats when I received my transformational aha. Not only did I understand in an instant what love truly meant, I was able to do it. The change happened not in my conscious mind, but at the place where true science and true spirituality meet: Earlier I called this principle a magic wand.
Historically we tend to call things magic when we dont understand how they work or how they happened. I do sincerely doubt Beyond Willpower preaches to the choir, but it could have been an evangelist.
I do sincerely doubt that my main quibble with the book was corrected. The tone of the jacket copy promises an entirely different book. I wanted to give it four stars, but only those who are already familiar with these self-help and spiritual theories and techniques will be able to bypass the gee-whiz hyperbole and sweeping generalities to glean the gold. Recommended if you are already "into the spiritual" and looking for a system of self-growth.
Aug 26, Gail M rated it it was ok. I am such a sucker for the new book shelf. I believe this book could be summarized susinctly as "if you act out of love at all times, your life will go better. Dec 09, Kady24 rated it liked it. This is a semi-fascinating book. I like all his background info and agree it IS more than willpower or we wouldn't have people addicted to half the things they are addicted to.
It gets a little dicey with some of his techniques to put into practice but hey! Try anything once! Jul 02, Theresa rated it liked it Shelves: I liked what someone said about this - a 3 for the book and a 4 for content. It could have been half as long if he didn't repeat how he'd been helping people for 25 years over and over. That wasn't the only thing he repeated but it was pretty annoying.
I have yet to put it all into practice, but from what I've seen so far, this book may hold many answers for me and others. Just by reading the first chapter I discovered that this book is different from every other success book. Mar 07, Juanita added it Shelves: Very inspiring, including many practical exercises.
May 26, Pam rated it liked it Shelves: I really like the underlying message. Some of the details feel pretty kooky to me. Mar 25, Paul Bard rated it really liked it. Alex Lloyd says that success is counterintuitive; that our intuitions about success are incorrect.
We intuitively feel that external goals and practical action plans will bring success. He says this is false: Lloyd distinguishes between fake success versus real success. Fake success comes from stress and struggle and hurry and suffering. Real success comes from love, peace, clarity, healing and joy. Maybe this should be self evident, but we can observe that most people act like fake success is real success. The SYSTEM is rating defects and assets from minus ten to plus ten, where minus ten is completely negative and plus ten is completely positive.
The TOOLS are the Three Tools hand positions on the chest, forehead and crown; affirmations; and a healing visualization , three diagnostics, and a process for creating peaceful goals, and a proposed 40 day plan. It's a LOT of work. I believe him: Jokes aside, though, how true is this claim?
If we accept that stress and struggle are failure not success, then we must agree with Lloyd. Wanting a course of action to be peaceful is not what this suggests, but rather bringing peace to difficult work.
The important bit is turning "stress goals" into "success goals". The book's whole focus is on internal goals. It checks out. Does it work? I don't know because his system proved difficult for me to apply to the degree he asked 40 day plan. He did a Workbook which I also downloadd but it is not actually any simpler to use and repeats the material from the original. I think almost everyone would have a lot of trouble applying his program. The after-book marketing and upsell seems pretty intense, probably because most people can't use the book itself.
There is an enormous amount of audio and reports and "healing codes" one can access. This seems somewhat discouraging. I did the online diagnostic and it was unwieldy and too difficult to interpret meaningfully or apply to actual work. Feb 27, Debi Lantzer rated it liked it Shelves: These types of books are often pretty tough for me to muddle through for several reasons.
Primarily, I have a very strong faith in God and I truly believe with all my heart that problematic issues such as fear and stress can be resolved by turning it over to God and allowing Him to be in control.
In Beyond Willpower, Dr. Loyd talks about living in grace, but unfortunately he doesn't give us the course of this grace. I personally believe that the source of grace in our lives is God through His lo These types of books are often pretty tough for me to muddle through for several reasons.
I personally believe that the source of grace in our lives is God through His love for us. As someone with over 22 years of sobriety by way of Alcoholics Anonymous, I personally believe Dr.
This is not the truth at all - at least from the 12 step program I learned through Alcoholics Anonymous.
In fact, if anyone does an internet search on the 12 steps of the program, they will see that "willpower" is discouraged and surrendering to a "Higher Power" is the only way to succeed. As far as Dr. Maybe I am ultra-sensitive on this topic since I firmly believe that AA saved my life, but I really don't think that Beyond Willpower would save a hardcore drug addict in the same way the 12 step program does.
Perhaps the the answer would be to use this book as a supplement to your 12 step program if you are an addict or alcoholic, but certainly abandon the "Higher Power" that saved you at the start of your recovery journey.
Overall, while it is a good book for some, it wouldn't be the life-changing book that would work for my life.
I was provided this book by Blogging For Books in exchange for this review. May 06, CL rated it really liked it.
This was a pretty fast read, but I have to admit, I ended up skimming because Loyd had the unfortunate habit of repeating himself from chapter to chapter. Granted, you need to read a decent chunk to understand what he's getting a This was a pretty fast read, but I have to admit, I ended up skimming because Loyd had the unfortunate habit of repeating himself from chapter to chapter.
Granted, you need to read a decent chunk to understand what he's getting at, but once you've done that, the rest of the book is repetitive. What I took away from this what ended up in said notes was the importance of focusing on the things you're ACTUALLY seeking in life peace, joy, love , and how to approach this in your daily mindset. What I tried briefly but couldn't come to terms with was his physical methods I hate to sound like a skeptic, but It seems a little out there to me.
What does seem plausible is the underlying focus that coincides with these methods, and that's his "Greatest Principle" which is really about focusing on your true goals, which are always going to boil down to peace, joy, and love. Never tangible things, accolades, wealth, etc. Basically, he says, no matter what it is you want, you're actually seeking one of those three things behind it. Pretty simple stuff, but worth a read. Feb 08, hissi rated it did not like it Shelves: We all need to o seek love peace and happiness but we also need to have a functioning system for attaining life's achievements and not belittling them.
Someone can be a pot head who thinks he's reached those three things but not really. What's the measuring step to actually feel your worth. By helping other. By making a name for yourself and your country.
Everyone wants love peace and happiness. Those are emotions and emotions fluctuate from day to day. Even hour to hour. So I can't bas Useless. So I can't base my life on this goal alone. Which is what the author is saying. Apr 14, Sue rated it really liked it. Thanks to GoodReads for providing me a copy of this book for review. The cover also claims "from stress to success in 40 days.
I have read some of the ideas previously and have tried them. As for the 40 days claim, I suppose if one does nothing but read this book and journal, perhaps 40 days is possible. However, I do have other commitments and the 40 days is unrealistic for me.